There are practical ways to bring Montessori ideas and principles into your home to aid in your child’s growing independence.
The Montessori philosophy guides us to “never to for a child what they can do for themselves”. Bringing Montessori into the home and practicing this philosophy isn’t always as easy as it sounds. However, it is important to understand that when you interfere with a child’s independence, that becomes an obstacle in the development. The message we send is that the child is not capable, when actually they really are capable.
Assisting our children to take their time to discover who they are, without much adult interference, is actively encouraged in the Montessori philosophy right from birth. There are ways in which we can encourage independence, sometimes it might not feel intuitive for new parents. In this blog we will continue to explore the benefits of assisting children to independence.
“No man is free unless (s)he is independent”. Dr. Maria Montessori
In the Montessori classrooms starting at the Nido stage one will notice the freedom of movement of the infants. Infants are not confined in any way, no cribs, playpens, highchairs etc. The toddlers move with ease to set the table for lunch, with real linens and dishes, eat lunch together in harmony and restore the area by cleaning up by themselves.
Montessori education emphasizes independence as much as the child shows interest and readiness — not at the adult’s expectation. Independence is motivated by the child’s natural drive to learn. It’s the adult’s job to respect this drive by carefully preparing conditions which remove obstacles along the way:
Below, we’ll break down the idea of independence from the child’s perspective and address some common misconceptions along the way.
In the blink of an eye, it seems that we are knee deep in diaper changes, late night feeding and loss of sleep to having a toddler insisting “I can do it”. This period of time moves so quickly. The capabilities of these young children come from an inner need to want to discover things for themselves.
Think about a time when you were trying to solve a puzzle, a word problem, whatever, you felt close to the answer, then someone blurts out the answer. There is some disappointment. You wanted to get it, and knew you could, if you just had one more minute.
This is what your young child feels when working on something, they just can quite get. There really is no rush at this time, it is ok to let them figure it out. And they may not figure it out right then. They will return to this puzzle and continue trying until they get it. In the Montessori classroom, many children will take out the same activity over and over again. Then one day, they do not take it out. They have mastered it, completed it. They are ready to move on.
In Montessori, independence is supported with an emphasis on helping the young child make real-world connections without excessive interruptions. Yet, freedom to explore more of the natural environment often conflicts with parenting pressures to filter the toddlers’ first experiences in order to keep them as safe as possible.
We may lean towards introducing cartoon illustrations over real imagery, plastic and non-breakable items as well as pretend activities instead of invitations to join everyday work, and we may just park young children in front of an iPad, rather than eating together as a family.
Typically, there is a belief that young children can’t yet be trusted to learn processes that come with risk — like carrying something that could break, moving where they could fall, or using a knife to slice vegetables that could hurt their fingers. This is rooted in love. Our protection instincts run strong, but often this leads us to overreach. If we continue this path, we become the driver of their learning — creating dependencies that come back to us as they get older.
So much of the child is formed by age six, and so Montessori challenges us to question our interventions because our interventions become their inner voice. Demonstrating our trust in their own desire to try for themselves solidifies a foundation of curiosity, motivation, and confidence that will boost independence for a lifetime. Too many “watch outs and “dont’s” might turn into “I can’t do it”.
How do we justify this level of trust when our protective instincts might get in the way? By understanding how they learn. Young children are biologically wired to enter the world as scientific explorers thanks to Montessori’s Absorbent Mind, which enables them to process information at an unprecedented rate. It is a “superpower” that begins to fade after age six. Waiting to offer real experiences that may come with some level of risk is counterproductive to skills like body awareness and the ability to plan that keep them safer in the long run.
When you see a Montessori preschooler mopping the floors of his own classroom, you are not witnessing a child who has been authoritatively “put to work.” You are seeing a child who is “at work” and we believe that the child’s play is their work.
In Montessori we call play “work” because of the respect it implies towards the child’s chosen interests. A child who is painting at the easel experiences the same type of engagement when they are carrying out large math equations with the Montessori Golden Bead work. To them, play is work, and work is play. In addition, Montessori advocated for us to value their chosen work as purposeful. This drive towards meaningful engagement is why the novelty of a pretend kitchen typically wears off quickly, but the joy of being a part of the cooking and working with real food fosters a much longer-lasting engagement. At MSOSV, the afternoon Cooking 
Studio allows children to prepare different foods. Being a part of the cooking process almost always has the children trying new and interesting foods and flavors.
To us, we look at doing the dishes differently because we do it for the outcome: the dishes need to be clean. When a child does it, it is for the sake of process: I wonder how this works, and I want to find out!
What things in your home can your child do or actively participate in?
By fostering independence with your young child, you are arming them with life skills.
Independence with your young child is just a few of the important reasons to bring the Montessori philosophy into your home. You are doing so much more than just adding child size furniture and stool in the kitchen. You are setting them up for a life of independent success and self-confidence with the ability to take care of themselves. These are priceless skills, by just taking an extra 10 minutes to allow your child to carry in the heavy groceries, or help load and unload the laundry, choosing their own clothes to wear for the day and dressing themselves.