• Bringing Montessori into The Home: The Montessori Family

    The Montessori Classroom and the Montessori Home – Triangle

    A blog series by Colleen Noll.

    Part 1 of the 5 Part Blog Series

    Before we get started, please remember to laugh at yourself, laugh with your family and take it slow. Some days, it all falls apart. Get some rest, shake it off and start fresh the next day.

    The 5 Pillars

    1. Respect of everyone in the family
    2. Practicing hands-on learning
    3. Encouraging Independence
    4. Following each child as an individual
    5. Lead by Example to set a good example

    Respect of Everyone in the Family

    The Montessori Parent

    What is your role in supporting the family’s Montessori practice at home?

    Observe

    Take time to observe your child at home, without interfering in the activity. Is your child able to maintain a reasonable level of order? Are toys and activities put away in their designated places? If not, you, as parent—like the Montessori teacher—should consider the child’s environment:

    • Are there too many choices?
    • Are the choices available no longer interesting or challenging?
    • Is it difficult for your child to put items away properly?

    The ability to focus and concentrate is an important skill for learning. You can help develop your child’s concentration at any age by observing what sparks their interest and providing opportunities to pursue it. Set your child up with the materials to explore what has piqued their interest and let them work without interruption until they are ready to choose another activity.

    Model, Invite & Practice

    Modeling to successfully manage household tasks and providing assisted practice from the earliest ages will result in capable young ones, preteens, teenagers, and adults.
    For young children, rather than labeling shelf spaces to signal where items go, demonstrate to your child an object’s proper place and practice putting it away with your child. You may need to demonstrate a new skill a few times, but soon your child will have memorized the routine and mastered it herself—and she will take great pride in being able to do it on her own.

    The same goes for older children—demonstrate how to perform a new activity, such as separating laundry and loading and running the washing machine and invite your child to practice with your guidance. Soon they will be independently doing the task themselves, and meaningfully contributing to the care of your family’s home!

    Practicing Hands-On Learning

    The Absorbent Mind

    This is the term Dr. Montessori used to describe the child’s ability to absorb new information – like a sponge. They do this effortlessly and unconsciously.

    “Like a sponge these children absorb. It is marvelous, this mental power of the child. Only we cannot teach directly. It is necessary that the child teach himself, and then the success is great.” Dr. Maria Montessori

    Dr. Montessori believed that we should allow children the opportunity to learn by themselves. We cannot teach a child something by simply explaining it to them. We should show them, then let them explore on their own.

    Imagine this: As an adult, you are working to complete a word search puzzle, you keep looking for the last two words, and someone comes by, shows you the answer. The sense of accomplishment for yourself is gone. When children are working on something, and we do not allow them to discover for themselves, we are robbing them of their sense of accomplishment. It is ok to let them discover on their own. They will.

    “The hand is the instrument of intelligence. The child needs to manipulate objects and to gain experience by touching and handling.” Dr. Maria Montessori

    At Home, Encourage Hands-On Learning

    If your child shows interest in construction vehicles: Learn about them together, read books, participate in Touch a Truck events in your community. Look at pictures of different construction vehicles, practice naming different vehicles you see while you are out driving.
    Help your child use their senses through tactile experiences. Going to the beach, playing in the sand, laying on the grass, using Play-Doh, allowing your child to experience different textures.
    Allow your child to participate in everyday activities alongside you:

    1. Feeding the family pet
    2. Watering the plants
    3. Working in the garden
    4. Putting away groceries
    5. Washing the dishes
    6. Folding laundry

    When inviting your child to help with everyday household activities, you will need to be patient and know the folded laundry might not look perfect. Try to think of these as memorable opportunities with your child where you worked together, it is the process that makes the difference, not necessarily the outcome of the activity. I promise, your little one wants to be a part of what you are doing.

    Encouraging Independence

    “The greatest gifts we can give our children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.” Dr. Maria Montessori

    Montessori education encourages independence from an early age. This can be done by creating opportunities to enjoy two kinds of freedom:

    Freedom of movement – Create a “yes space”

    Following the Montessori philosophy in the home as a Montessori Family is an intentional approach. Applying the philosophy to everyday family and parenting choices is based on five pillars. Note: this can be started at any time in any family.

    In the Montessori 0 to age 6 we start with the abstract and move to the concrete. We also guide children at select times, paying attention to their individual sensitive periods, as well as knowing the best time to work on a new concept. We will show you how you can do this at home.

    Allowing Freedom of Choice – letting children have some kind of autonomy by choosing freely from various pre-arranged options.

    A few ideas:

    • Childproof house – allowing freedom of movement throughout the home
    • Choosing own clothing, and getting dressed – allow time for this, it takes them a bit longer to get themselves dressed
    • Giving choices that are appropriate for their age
    • Use child-sized furniture, for their bedrooms and right-size for being included with the family; the dinner table, the bathroom, etc.

    Following Each Child in the Home Individually

    In Montessori, you will hear “Follow the Child” all the time. At MSOSV, the motto is “Children First, Always”. At school, the children in care are always at the center of the program, including their safety, health and welfare.

    What does this mean at home?

    Adults in the home pay careful attention to each child’s interests, rather than imposing their idea of what they should like, learn or be interested in.

    “Follow the child, they will show you what they need to do, what they need to develop in themselves and what area they are ready to be challenged in” Dr. Maria Montessori

    What are your child’s interests? What kind of activities are they most engaged in? This will change as your child grows.

    If your child keeps repeating the same activity over and over, it means she is working to understand and master the concept.

    Stepping back, quietly watching your child will help you see what activity your child is interested in. Pay attention to what they are repeating.
    If you notice your child repeating certain activities, like lining up the cars and sorting by color or type of car, you can provide more activities that help your child begin to classify different items. Sorting other items by shape, size color etc.

    Just because your child isn’t interested in something you offer, doesn’t mean they won’t come back to it at a later time. Hold on to it, try again another time, or leave on their shelf.

    Take Time to Observe

    What does it mean to “observe”?

    In the Montessori classroom, quite frequently, you will notice the Montessori Guide standing off to the side, watching. She is quietly observing. During this time, it may be 2 or 20 minutes, she is able to objectively watch what the children are doing, how they interact, solve problems, move their body through the environment, etc. This helps her understand:

    • How each child learns
    • What current stage of development
    • What concepts are emerging, practicing or mastered

    There are many books written dedicated to Observation, for now, let’s just start with the basics. Practice will help you learn to observe your child naturally and in any environment.

    Learning to Observe

    Stepping back, quietly watching your child will help you see what activity your child is interested in.
    Pay attention to what she is repeating.

    When observing, to do so without interfering in the activity. Is your child able to stick with the activity for the purpose it is intended?

    How long does your child stick with the activity. Once complete, will your child put the materials away in their designated places? If not, you, as parent—like the Montessori teacher—should consider the child’s environment:

    • Are there too many choices?
    • Are the choices available no longer interesting or challenging?
    • Is it difficult for your child to put items away properly?

    The ability to focus and concentrate is an important skill for learning. You can help develop your child’s concentration at any age by observing what sparks her interest and providing opportunities to pursue it. Set her up with the materials to explore what has piqued her interest and let her work without interruption until she is ready to choose another activity.

    Lead by Example to Set a Good Example

    Engage and Adapt

    Based on your observations, make changes to the environment to ensure your child’s success, interest, and independence. For older children, work together and include them in the decision-making process. Give choices but be sure that you are comfortable with all of the available options, so you support the child no matter what choice is made.

    Practicing Real-Life Skills

    Montessori students learn to take care of themselves and their classroom and to be helpful to others. They wash tables, organize shelves, prepare meals, and assist younger children. In addition to the satisfaction of mastering real-life skills, they come to see themselves as valued members of the community.

    Creating an environment that encourages your child to help at home can bring similar rewards. Young children can peel vegetables, fold their clothes, match their socks, and care for pets. Tweens can sort the mail and take out the recycling. And adolescents can read to younger siblings, help with home repair, keep family computers up-to-date, and manage their own bank accounts.

    Nurture Inner Motivation

    Children are most willing to apply themselves when they feel there is intrinsic value to their work. Some parents use external rewards such as an allowance, gold stars, and merit-based privileges. But Montessori is based on the belief that pride and pleasure in one’s own work has lasting, and meaningful, effects that external incentives do not. In Montessori perspective, even praise is given sparingly saved to acknowledge a child’s effort and encourage dedication and commitment to accomplishing a task, rather than the reward.

    Conclusion

    Meet together as a family, discuss the 5 pillars and give yourself an honest assessment about where you are as a family. Choose one or two to work on at a time. Give yourself time and space to create new habits as a family. Allow yourself to layer new concepts at a pace that works for your family. Remember to try and have fun and enjoy the process.

    Next: The Home Environment