In this blog series we have reviewed the Montessori philosophy in home including becoming a Montessori Parent, and setting up your Montessori home. In this blog we will continue to explore the philosophy around Limit Setting and Ground Rules in your home.
Safety is the number one concern with children under the age of 6. Most of our rules in the home are connected to keeping children safe and free from harm.
As young as 3 months old and up to age 6, you can incorporate these principles into your home at any time.
As the parent, it is your job to guide your children and help them learn to navigate the world. To do so, having a set of limits, boundaries and rules is important to implement as soon as possible.
“To let the child do as he likes when he has not yet developed any powers of control is to betray the idea of freedom.” Dr. Maria Montessori
When setting limits in your home, ask these questions:
And, the 3 D’s:
It is normal for children to test the boundaries, it is the role of the adult to be loving, yet not allow them to be subject to certain unsafe situations.
Limits are important. Consistency with limits is important.
Around 6 months, when children begin crawling and are much more mobile, the word “no” is introduced. Try to not over-use the word “No”. It needs to have meaning. Also, the tone used with the word “No” matters.
When my son Mik was just 14 months, his little brother Adam was 7 months. One day while strolling through the park, pushing Adam in the stroller, Mik started to run towards children swinging on a tire swing. My very loud “Stop” halted Mik. He was not used to this tone from me, therefore by only using this loud tone when danger was near, I was able to capture his attention long enough to get to him, before the tire swing hit him and knocked him over.
Children start understanding your tone long before they understand your words. If you are frustrated, try and take a break, even if it is one minute, to gather yourself and be present in a positive way for your child.
It is okay to feel angry or hurt by others, but being destructive to others, either to their bodies or to their possessions, is not okay.
In the Montessori classroom, the flow of the day is dictated by the daily routine for each age group. This routine provides a predictable and consistent pattern of activities throughout the day, including learning time, mealtimes, rest time, and outdoor play. However, the most important aspect of the daily routine is that it provides children with the time and space to meet their needs and explore their interests.
In the home environment, a similar structure can be established; however, it is important to remember that home and a structured learning environment are very different. As such, don’t expect that your child will fall into routine overnight, or that every day is going to go to plan. The most important things to remember are to follow your child, establish a routine that works for your family, and to prepare a workspace where your child can let their interests take the lead.
Tips for Establishing a Home Routine:
“The child who concentrates is immensely happy”. Dr. Maria Montessori
Dr. Montessori understood the environment has a huge impact on children’s mental and physical health. This is why you will notice a “distraction-free” environment in Fully Implemented Montessori programs. This helps the children to concentrate on their activities. The home and child’s bedroom can be the same. Free of clutter, simple photos or paintings on the wall.
Your home, like the Montessori classroom, can become “distraction free”. Montessori classrooms are tidy and well organized.
This means, the children’s bedrooms and family gathering areas can be:
Work together as a family to maintain these spaces.
If your child attends Montessori school, you will notice that the classroom environments, at all levels, look very different from traditional childcare centers. Dr. Montessori placed a lot of emphasis on beauty in the environment.
Follow the “Less is more” approach – Reduce any environmental stress and clutter – whether it’s too much furniture, too many decorations, or too many toys. Having fewer toys, for example, is associated with more play, more creativity, and better focus.
Create an environment of beauty – Maria Montessori put a lot of emphasis on the beauty of the environment. We should create an environment that is calming and inspires a sense of beauty and aesthetics.
“There is a mathematical relationship between the beauty of his surrounding and the activity of the child.” Dr. Maria Montessori
Be careful about screen time – If we want to help our children focus better, we should be very strict about how much time they spend in front of the screens. There are numerous studies that warn against excessive screen time in children and its connection to various attention disorders and sleep problems.
Have “no screen zones” where no screens are allowed (for example, bedroom and dinner table) and lead by example.
Learn about and use parental controls.
Conclusion: By setting limits with your young children and following through with the preparation of the environment, the daily routine and a few ground rules in your home, you will be able to enjoy the wonderful results you will create in your home using the Montessori philosophy.
Next: Sample Daily Routine at home with your children ages 2 through 6.